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+--- Thread: bad santa! (/thread-1862.html)
bad santa! - squirrel - 12-20-2005
A slight twist from the norm.... hehehehe
> >
> > Dear Santa
> >
> > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all >>>yeer
> > yer Frend, tony(towshen)
> >
> > Dear tony(towshen),
> >
> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
> >
> > How about I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write?
>I'm
> > giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
> >
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
>and
> > joy in the world for everybody!
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Sarah
> >
> >
> > Dear Sarah,
> >
> > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
> > and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
> >
> > Love
> >
> > Teddy
> >
> >
> > Dear Teddy,
> >
> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
> > Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who
> > rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you
> > some nice Legos instead.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
> > kit, a pony and a tuba.
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Francis
> >
> >
> > Dear Francis,
> >
> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're a sissy. I'll set you
> > up with a Barbie.
> >
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
>your
> > reindeer outside the back door.
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Susan
> >
> >
> > Dear Susan,
> >
> > Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
>riding
> > in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
> >
> > Your friend,
> >
> > Thomas
> >
> >
> > Dear Thomas,
> >
> > All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
>most
> > of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
>silly
> > and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
> > craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
>like
> > in the song?
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Jessica
> >
> >
> > Dear Jessica,
> >
> > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
> > your house.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
> > could I have one?
> >
> > Timmy
> >
> > Timmy,
> > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
> > work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-------
> >
> > Dearest Santa,
> >
> > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Marky
> >
> >
> > Mark,
> >
> > First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
> > whipped at school.
> >
> > Second, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your
> > bedroom window.
> >
> > Sweet Dreams,
> >
> > Santa
> >
bad santa! - DAVEC-NITRO-RS4 - 12-20-2005
You edited that didn't you? The last letter was really from a kid named TOMMY when I saw it the first time.
bad santa! - squirrel - 12-20-2005
i was gonna edit it so the first letter was from tony(towshen)! the one with timmy or marky? cause i already have a puppy, and i don't have a chimmney but i leave the front door unlocked for santa!
bad santa! - Sh1nn3r - 12-20-2005
LOL thats great
bad santa! - Czech-it-Out Graphics - 12-20-2005
heres one I edited it for explicit content lol it will prolly get deleted anyway
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occured since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls you have leaving me a f***ing yoyo, a lame ass whistle and a pair of ugly socks. What the f*** were you thinking, you fat prick, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole f***ing year to come out with some s**t like this under the tree. As if you hadn't f***ed me enough, you gave that little quiff across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll f*** you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the f***ing North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that f***ing bike. F*** YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT C**KSUCKER.
Sincerely,
Little Johnny
bad santa! - Czech-it-Out Graphics - 12-20-2005
Merry Christmas hahahahahha
bad santa! - DAVEC-NITRO-RS4 - 12-20-2005
Read quick before it gets zapped, but thats funny right there!
bad santa! - squirrel - 12-20-2005
thats funny!!!! i doubt they'll delete it, maybe just finish editing!
bad santa! - Sh1nn3r - 12-20-2005
Lol
bad santa! - kevinF - 12-20-2005
funny
bad santa! - UE-Maxx - 12-20-2005
lol
bad santa! - Tex - 12-21-2005
good stuff guys, funny as hell.