Greatest jokes ever, you will die laughing, thats how great they are

[Thirdgen89GTA]

Hehe, those are all good. But I didn't see anyone post about the sermon. :joy:

_______________

Mr. & Mrs. Jones

Mr. & Mrs. Jones
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her
church.
"Reverend," she said, " I have a problem--my husband keeps falling asleep
during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I'll
be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at
specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg with
the pin."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this,
the preacher put his plan to work.

"...And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding
to
Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" cried Mr. Jones as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your
redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" cried out Mr. Jones as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again, Mr. Jones," said the minister, smiling and continuing
his sermon. Before long, Mr. Jones dozed off again. However, this
time
the minister didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon,
he
made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to wake her husband
again. She was just sticking her husband with the hatpin again when the
minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his
99th son?"

Mr. Jones shrieked, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one
more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!!!!" The sermon
was over.