You know you live in Illinois

[t to the maxx2]

Got this in an email. It's a good laugh!

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you
might live in Illinois.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the
year, you might live in Illinois.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Illinois.

If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might
live in Illinois.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
in Illinois.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Illinoisan WHEN:
1. Vacation means going north or south on I-55 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.
6. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.
7. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit.
8. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
9. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road
construction, and It's Hot.
10. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.
11. Down south means Missouri, to you.
12. A brat is something you eat.
13. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
14. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
15. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly".



Not many of these are true for me in HP, but still funny, none the less

[Traxxas_Junkee]

LMAO, Your vacation means going a little south on 55. Some of those apply, but not really. Don't other people use time for distance too?

[Racin' Ranger1]

lol

[Czech-it-Out Graphics]

lol pretty good

[joey]

sounds like pa lol

[Hoobajoob]

LOL That is a good one!

[rocco79]

lol

[Chicagojoe]

reminds me of this one

Grachki (grach'-key) is Chicago for "Garage Key" as in, "Yo,Theresa,waja do wit da grachki? Howmy supposta cut da grass if don't git intada grach?"

Uptadaendada (up-ta-da-en'-dada) as in, "Joey, you kin ride yur bike uptadaendada alley but not acrost or I'll bust yur butt..."

Sammich. Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sassage sammich; with shredded beef, it's an Italian beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.

Da. The definite article is a key part of Chicago speech, as in "da tree bears" or "da Mare"-the latter denoting, for as long as he wants it to, Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often known.

Jewels. Not family heirlooms or a tender body region, but a popular appellation for one of the region's dominant grocery chains, to wit, "I'm goin' to da Jewels to pick up some sassage." As in most Chicago pluralizations, the "S" is pronounced with a hissing sound, rather than the usual "Z" sound of American pluralization.

Field's: Marshall Field, a prominent Chicago department store. Also Carson Pirie Scott, a major department store chain, is called "Carson's," etc.

Tree. The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night"

Prairie. A vacant lot, especially one on which weeds are growing.

Over by dere. i.e. "over by there," a prolix way of emphasizing a site presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sassage at da Jewels down on Kedzie, over by dere.'

Kaminski Park. Perhaps the high concentration of ethnic Poles makes people want the White Sox to be playing in this mythical
ballpark, rather than in their true home, Comiskey Park.

Frunchroom as in, "Getottada frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes." It's not the "parlor." It's not the "living room." In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived, linguists believe, from "front room."
Use. Not the verb but the plural pronoun "you". "Where's use goin'?"

Downtown. Anywhere south of the zoo and north of Soldier Field near the lake.

BoysTown: A section on Halsted Ave., between Belmont and Addison, which is lined with gay bars on the west and east sides of the street. "Didn't I see uze in Boystown in front of da Manhole?"

Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "gimme a braht wit kraut"

Cashbox: Traffic reporter slang for tollbooths. "Dere's a delay at da cashbox on da Skyway"

Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say." For example, "Then he goes, 'I like this place'!"

Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.

Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town. "what kinda pop you got?"

Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from White Castle, a popular Midwestern burger chain "Dose sliders I had last night gave me da runs"

The Taste: The annual Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland's fine
cuisine. Takes place around and before the Fourth of July holiday.

"Jieetyet": this is used to ask "did you eat yet"?

Winter and Construction: Punch-line to the joke, "what are the two seasons in Chicago?"

[Michowski]

you know you live in Illinois if you have a 10 year old kid posting about how if you know you live in Illinois.

[maxximum_44]

LOL!!! @ chicagojoe.

Don't forget "PO' CHOP" sanmich from Jew-town.

[olds97_lss]

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.

I find that this is way more true for Iowa than it is for Illinois.

Here, a snowflake falls and traffic stops. The sun comes out, traffic stops. There's a light breeze, traffic stops. There's a light sprinkle or downpour, traffic stops.

Believe me, I know. I drive 55 miles one way to work (live in Dekalb, work in the burbs).

[t to the maxx2]

you know you live in Illinois if you have a 10 year old kid posting about how if you know you live in Illinois.

16, thanks

[BottledBeast]

thats a good one