A blonde crashes into a wall.
A cop shows up and says, "What happened?"
The blonde says, "I was driving along when a tree jumped out in front of me. I swerved to miss it, and another tree jumped out in front of me. I swerved to miss it, and another tree jumped out in front of me."
The cop says, "Lady, there isn't a tree on this road for thirty miles. That was your f-ing air freshener."
A guy was walking down the beach and notices this girl with no arms or legs. Obvious she cant wave, he walks over to her and she says ive never been kissed, can you kiss me? The guy says what the hell and kisses her. She then says ive never been
before, will you me. He slips his hand under her bathing suit and proceeds to. She now says ive never been f-ed. He picks her up and throws her into the water and says, "You're f-ed now".
A guy goes to lunch and says to the girl behind the counter. Id like a bowl of chili. The waitress responds, the guy sitting next to you got the last bowl. He turns around and notices he ate everything except the chili bowl was still filled. He says if your not gonna eat that can I have it? The man replies sure go ahead. He gets about half way down the bowl when his fork gets stuck on something. He lifts it out of the bowl only to pull out a dead mouse. He then throws up all the chili back into the bowl and the guy sitting next to him says, thats about as far as I got also.
What's the white stuff you find in the bottom of girls' undies?
Clitty litter.
How about the Polish guy who was jerking off in a restaurant because the sign said, "First come, first served?"
A bear and a rabbit are taking a chit in the woods.
The bear says to the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with chit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
What's the difference between a stoner and a drunk?
A stoner doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings.
Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat? He got pissed off.
When I remember some more il post em up.
A cop shows up and says, "What happened?"
The blonde says, "I was driving along when a tree jumped out in front of me. I swerved to miss it, and another tree jumped out in front of me. I swerved to miss it, and another tree jumped out in front of me."
The cop says, "Lady, there isn't a tree on this road for thirty miles. That was your f-ing air freshener."
A guy was walking down the beach and notices this girl with no arms or legs. Obvious she cant wave, he walks over to her and she says ive never been kissed, can you kiss me? The guy says what the hell and kisses her. She then says ive never been
before, will you me. He slips his hand under her bathing suit and proceeds to. She now says ive never been f-ed. He picks her up and throws her into the water and says, "You're f-ed now". A guy goes to lunch and says to the girl behind the counter. Id like a bowl of chili. The waitress responds, the guy sitting next to you got the last bowl. He turns around and notices he ate everything except the chili bowl was still filled. He says if your not gonna eat that can I have it? The man replies sure go ahead. He gets about half way down the bowl when his fork gets stuck on something. He lifts it out of the bowl only to pull out a dead mouse. He then throws up all the chili back into the bowl and the guy sitting next to him says, thats about as far as I got also.
What's the white stuff you find in the bottom of girls' undies?
Clitty litter.
How about the Polish guy who was jerking off in a restaurant because the sign said, "First come, first served?"
A bear and a rabbit are taking a chit in the woods.
The bear says to the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with chit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
What's the difference between a stoner and a drunk?
A stoner doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings.
Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat? He got pissed off.
When I remember some more il post em up.
![[Image: mich1iy1.jpg]](http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/9408/mich1iy1.jpg)
alute: 
